Sara and the Search for Normal by Wesley King

Author:Wesley King
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster/Paula Wiseman Books
Published: 2020-06-02T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

I slept for about an hour that night, which was not enough. I didn’t take my pills and surprise! I played False Alarm twice. And when my mom gave me my morning dose, I took it and tried not to feel like a failure and failed at that too.

I yawned all through math, and blinked through English, and my head started wobbling during science even thought it was my favorite subject.

Finally Ms. Hugger put the textbook away and sat down on the edge of my desk.

“Tired?” she asked dryly.

I blinked. It felt like my eyelids had glue on them. “A little.”

“Me too.” Ms. Hugger sighed. “Sara, I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“I will be leaving at the end of the semester.”

I looked at her, awake now. “Where are you going?”

“I will be working with a student at another school. A boy with autism.”

I thought about that for a moment. It didn’t make sense. We got along. We liked each other. Or … I liked her. I racked my brain for all the times I had annoyed her. There were a lot.

“Did I make you leave?” I murmured.

“No! Of course not. Working with autism is just my specialty, and the school thought I was the best candidate for him. He’s been struggling. Someone new will be taking over for me.”

“Oh.”

I kept my eyes on the desk.

She squeezed my hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Sara—”

I pulled my hand away and started drawing a blue whale. I had been working on them.

“You’re going to have someone great take over, trust me,” Ms. Hugger said.

“Okay.”

“We still have a little while together.”

“Why?” I said softly. “Just leave now.”

I drew a big tail fin and the water passing beneath it. She was swimming fast.

“Sara, this isn’t because of you. You will be fine with a new teacher—”

“You said I wasn’t getting better,” I whispered. “You told me that.”

“It’s not always about getting better—”

“Yes, it is!” I shrieked.

That wasn’t her job. I knew that. But I didn’t want her to go.

Her eyes were glassy now. “Sara, we have still made a lot of progress—”

I drew more wavy lines around the whale, her tail pointed at me. She was going faster and faster now, swimming away from Psycho Sara. Why wouldn’t she? Everyone should. Maybe everyone would eventually.

“I hate it here!” I screamed. “I hate this room! I hate you!”

I ripped up my drawing and I scattered the floor with whale parts. I started to cry. Ms. Hugger hugged me. I think she was crying too.

We did that for a while, and then we picked up the scraps of paper together and had lunch. I could tell that she was sad. Her eyes were still glassy, and she ate slowly. I put my sandwich down, taking a deep breath. I may be crazy, but I am not cruel.

“Ms. Hugger?” I said.

“Yes, Sara?”

“I think you are a very good teacher.”

She smiled and bit her lip. “Thank you, Sara.”

We went back to our lunches. I was in control again.

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